PBP Wk 5: C is for Candlemas Happy Imbolc!!!

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I didn't want to pick a topic that would be obvious, but I just can't help it for today.  Today is Imbolc/Candlemas.  Also known as Brighid's Feast.  Most everybody already knows the basic information about Imbolc and Brighid's hand in ushering in the Spring according to Her lore.  Most know that Imbolc is the celebration of the halfway point in Winter before the Spring Equinox.  I'm not going to be writing about facts (but if there's anything you want to know, you should check out this Wikipedia article about Imbolc).

I've been feeling Brighid around a lot lately.  She has helped me a lot through this latest bout of depression that I've gone through concerning some things that I've had to realize about my family.  It's a long story and it's not something I'm going to go into here.  But Brighid has been showing Herself to me a lot lately as though She's trying to remind me that She is also my mother, She hasn't given up on me nor looked down on me for my failures. Hell, She doesn't even see them as failures; they're merely chances and opportunities to get up and try again.  To Her, mistakes are not something to beat me over the head with; they're just chances to learn and to better myself.

I was writing about these things on my desktop diary software (shameless name-dropping here: Chrysanth is awesome!) and as I was doing so, I literally felt a loving warmth and peace settle over me and I knew it was Her.  I feel Her even now.  So, to celebrate my Mother Goddess' day, I'm going to be doing a Flamekeeping shift.  It's not my scheduled day to do so, but you know what? I think when it's Imbolc, every daughter of Brighid should keep the Sacred Flame if she feels compelled to do so.  I have no doubts that Brighid keeps it alongside us today.

I'm also have been feeling the need to work with my Tarot cards again.  Unfortunately, that's something I slumped back on, but since Imbolc is considered a good day for divinations, I think it's a good day to begin again on my journey to learn my Tarot and to try to do better at doing my Daily Card readings.  I wish I could have a chance to visit a stream today, but that's probably not going to happen.  However, cleaning my water fountain and refilling it can be the next best thing. ^_^

I'm so thankful for Brighid's love.  I'm so thankful that she truly does still love me and sees the best in me even when I can't see the best in myself.  Even when others, such as people from my family, can't seem to see the best in me.

Imbolc is a celebration of the journey from the darkness of Winter to the coming light of Spring.  I'm thankful to my Mother Goddess, the Bright One, for her continuing to help me work through the darkness of things that have troubled me for many years.  One doesn't wade through that amount of muck overnight.  It takes time and effort, but I can feel myself gradually shedding these things and as I do, I feel more and more light.  Working through all these things that I've buried down isn't pleasant by any stretch, but it's necessary.

It wasn't that long ago that my mother basically scoffed at my spirituality because it hasn't seemed, in her eyes, to have made me a happier person the way Christianity is "supposed to".  SMH   And that was simply because, yeah, on my Facebook, I'm often expressing my anger and worries about a bunch of different things.  I'm sorry, but it's really sad that so many Christians think that  "Oh yes!  I've accepted Jesus into my heart, so God is just going to go and make everything better!!"   It doesn't work that way.  If it did, then there'd never even be such a thing as a Christian who experiences troubles and depression.

I had to tell my mother that, basically, that just because I still experience troubles and depression doesn't mean that I'm not happy being Pagan.  Are you kidding me?  I LOVE being Pagan!  Being Pagan has brought me far more joy than being a Christian ever did.  But, quite frankly, I've learned to be more expressive about what I feel instead of trying to stuff it down, so yes, I even express when something has pissed me off.  I've learned that my feelings (when they're not dripping sunshine and rainbows) are inconvenient to other people, but that's their problem. Not mine.

Do I still have a lot to learn about working through my emotions in a more constructive manner?  Oh, definitely!  But I have no doubts that Brighid will help me with that too.  May the Bright One give you many blessings on this, Her Feast Day!

Happy Imbolc/Candlemas and Blessed Be!

)O( Morgaine Kildare )O(