I took this picture last Fall at the Cold Springs Campground -- one of the few times I was able to get out into nature like this while I was back home *wistful sigh*
When I was there, at last getting to roam the woods like I'd been wanting to so badly and soaking up the Autumn brilliance, the energy of the forest was so welcoming and cozy to me. I don't know how else to put it. It was healing getting to meander among the trees. I miss it there.
This is an especially bittersweet post to write. Two years ago today I woke up for my first morning back home in Colorado. I didn't care that we were starting out living in a motel. I was getting to look out my window and see the mountains again. After almost 6 years trapped endlessly in Oklahoma and no mountains in sight, getting to see the Front Range was something that took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes. And when it snowed two days after coming back home? Oh, dear gods, I was absolutely giddy!! It felt like the Goddess was welcoming me home! It felt like She had understood my homesickness and the snow was Her homecoming present to me.
Now I'm in the desert and gods, I miss my Colorado like frikkin' hell! I don't regret the reasons I came here. Not at all. But that doesn't stop my heart from aching for home. The desert has its own beauty to it and at least there are still mountains in view here. But they're not mountains I can go to to roam. I don't want to tippy-toe through saguaro forests. Still, though, I'm grateful to have mountains to look at. I'm trying to recognize the natural beauty here, but for an Elf who feels most at home in lush forests, it's difficult to see the desert as anything but desolate.
I think about my favorite park back home, remembering getting to sit under the enormous tree that gave wonderful shade during the summer, and I think of how much I'm going to miss wriggling my bare feet in the soft, plush grass while watching my kids playing on the playground. That was beyond heavenly for me. That park was my favorite place to go to get a good dose of Nature in the city. And gods, I miss it.