44 DoW Day 9 -- A Favorite Mythological Animal

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Hmmmm......I guess I have a slight issue with the word "mythological".  Don't get me wrong, I understand what they're asking, but the word "mythological", to me, implies that the creatures lumped into that category don't exist -- that they're just the products of someone's imagination that wove them into tales and legends.

I can just imagine the "well, duh!" stares I might be getting from whomever reads this.  But please bear in mind:  whether you believe me or not, I originated as an Elf and the realm I came from had these "imaginary" creatures.  Dragons, Unicorns, Pegasi, you name it, we probably had them in our area or knew where you could go to see one.  But even then, these creatures weren't "animals" like humans tend to view animals here.  Here, animals generally tend to be seen as "inferior".  A crap-ton of humans don't even think that animals have souls, arrogantly thinking that only humans go to the after-life, etc.  Animals are thoughtlessly murdered, some to the point or almost to the point of extinction, for absolutely macabre trophies and the rest of their remains are left behind to go to waste.  And yes, I know that the wasteful trophy hunting is something that has become highly discouraged, but it still happens.  I have no problems with a hunter who takes down a deer so long as the meat is properly dealt with (but I think keeping a kill's decapitated head is horrendously disgusting and is not unlike the old practice of putting a beheaded person's head on a spike).  Hell, even there we hunted.  But every kill was valued and treated with respect and none of it went to waste.

Where I come from, though, the creatures -- from the more fantastical to the more "mundane" -- are more sentient.  I don't mean that in terms as to say that they could all talk the way the more humanoid races could.  But we just all understood each other.  Elves there are more connected to nature in a way that humans here (generally speaking) would never understand.  We could listen to their vocals and understand what they were saying much in the same way that that Shaun Ellis (aka the Wolf man) understands wolves.  In fact, personally, if that dude isn't Other or Therian in some form or fashion, I'd be massively surprised.  But that's just me.

Eye contact with the creatures would often times allow for a telepathic link if the creature would allow it and if the creature was willing to take that trust and bond further, the link could be kept open even without looking.  There was a pack of wolves that lived in the area of my village that had that kind of bond with us.  They'd even let us run with them when we were Shifted.  But, as much as we Elves had that kinship with nature, don't let that fool you into thinking that all creatures allowed such a bond with us.  That wolf pack was the only one out of 2 - 4 others that allowed that mental link.

Dragons were more sentient.  They could be tricky to deal with -- great care had to be taken not to accidentally say something offensive, but more often than not, our dealings and relationships with them were friendly.  One of my best friends over there was a Dragon and he was one of the ones who enjoyed taking a humanoid form from time to time (not all of them would, but a decent number of them would do so, especially if they needed to come into my village).  I daresay that that's one of the reasons I've had such a love of Dragons (about as far back as I can remember) and why I connected with the Fire Element so well as mentioned in previous posts.  In fact, it has often crossed my mind that the Dragon that comes when I call upon South in ritual is, in fact, my Dragon friend from Over There  :)

Anyway.  I've massively digressed.  I have many favorite creature types and while many of them don't physically exist in those forms in this realm, they're no more imaginary than the chair I'm currently sitting on.

44 Days of Witchery Day 8: A Photo of a Magical Place Outdoors

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Missed my DoW post for yesterday.  Luckily, it's pretty easy to make up for that.

I took this picture last Fall at the Cold Springs Campground -- one of the few times I was able to get out into nature like this while I was back home  *wistful sigh*

When I was there, at last getting to roam the woods like I'd been wanting to so badly and soaking up the Autumn brilliance, the energy of the forest was so welcoming and cozy to me.  I don't know how else to put it.  It was healing getting to meander among the trees.  I miss it there.

This is an especially bittersweet post to write.  Two years ago today I woke up for my first morning back home in Colorado.  I didn't care that we were starting out living in a motel.  I was getting to look out my window and see the mountains again.  After almost 6 years trapped endlessly in Oklahoma and no mountains in sight, getting to see the Front Range was something that took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes.  And when it snowed two days after coming back home?  Oh, dear gods, I was absolutely giddy!!  It felt like the Goddess was welcoming me home!  It felt like She had understood my homesickness and the snow was Her homecoming present to me.

Now I'm in the desert and gods, I miss my Colorado like frikkin' hell!  I don't regret the reasons I came here. Not at all.  But that doesn't stop my heart from aching for home.  The desert has its own beauty to it and at least there are still mountains in view here.  But they're not mountains I can go to to roam.  I don't want to tippy-toe through saguaro forests.  Still, though, I'm grateful to have mountains to look at.  I'm trying to recognize the natural beauty here, but for an Elf who feels most at home in lush forests, it's difficult to see the desert as anything but desolate.

I think about my favorite park back home, remembering getting to sit under the enormous tree that gave wonderful shade during the summer, and I think of how much I'm going to miss wriggling my bare feet in the soft, plush grass while watching my kids playing on the playground.  That was beyond heavenly for me.  That park was my favorite place to go to get a good dose of Nature in the city.  And gods, I miss it.

Resurrecting the 44 DoW -- Day 7: Air Element

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ZOMG!!!!  Giving the 44 Days of Witchery another shot, but I'm not starting it over from scratch.  What's the point?  I might do another post for "Favorite Goddess" but that's about as far back as I feel the need to re-visit.  Otherwise I'd just basically have repeat posts and, well, I just don't feel like doing that.  :3

Soooooooooo, trying to get this going again, Day 7's prompt is Air Element.  Of course.  Of course the prompt to pick up where I left off would be something where I'm just kinda drawing a blank on what to say.  *facepalm*

I found a purrtyful peekture all artsy-like of the Air Element on Google  :-D

Credit for image goes to CristaliaART

Ok.  So some general basics that most Pagans would know by now (excluding newbies, of course, in which case I hope that this helps in any way ^_^)

The following info for the Air Correspondences is taken from Ellen Dugan's book "Elements of Witchcraft: Natural Magick for Teens" and, of course, all credit goes to her.

Air Correspondences

Direction:  East

Color:  Yellow

Time of Day:  Sunrise

Places:  High places, such as mountaintops, meadows, and windy plains

Witch's Tool:  Wand

Deities:  Aradia, Aphrodite, Arianrhod, Butterfly Woman (Native American), Eros, Mercury, Nut, Psyche, the Sky Father

Animals:  Birds and flying insects -- bees, butterflies, dragonflies, and ladybugs

Elemental Beings:  Faeries, sylphs, and flower faeries

Magicks Include:  Creativity, knowledge, study, and change

Natural Representations Include:  Feathers, flowers, oils, perfumes, and incense smoke

Symbol:

The element of Air also rules over three signs of the Zodiac:  Aquarius, Gemini, and Libra.  Common traits that vary in degree between the three are being more mentally-driven than emotional, very intellectual, and tend to be flexible and open to change.  These three are very chatty (I should know -- I'm a Gemini cusp and my Moon is in Libra) and could talk your ears off for hours if you let them.  Basically, a lot of their common traits are, for lack of a better word, quite airy.  Conversations, life decisions, etc. often end up being things that are flitted to from one thing to the next with very little warning.  "Wherever the wind blows you", in my opinion, was a phrase probably coined for an Air sign  ;-)   LoL   Actually, I don't know that for sure or anything, but it definitely fits! 

A New Year Approaches

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For sure this has, in many ways, been a lack-luster year for me personally.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad for what I have accomplished.  I'm disappointed that I wasn't able to continue my Year and a Day class, but at least that falling through wasn't due to my lack of follow-through.  However, the things that I am disappointed about are due to that.

Excerpt from my personal journal to explain:   "I've been feeling a huge pull to do the 30 Days of Otherkin challenge (we'll see how that goes) and to actually finish the 44 Days of Witchery challenge on my much-neglected blog. Sadly, I have yet to actually have the discipline and follow-through to finish any of the challenges I've started out doing. >.< Seriously frikkin' sad, I know. That's something else I want to improve upon: actually finishing the things I start instead of always fading out a few days in.
A new year is rapidly approaching which means that a new Pagan Blog Project challenge will be starting. Should be easy, right? One blog post a week? This year will be my 3rd attempt. I'd really like for it to be the charm.

I think the only thing I've ever really successfully finished was my first attempt at NaNoWriMo back in '09. I had actually started late -- 7 days late to be precise -- but I plugged away at it and actually won! That was my only win out of my NaNo attempts and I didn't even try this year or last year. This November I really don't have any reason to not go for it. This year I was still homeless and last year I was in school.

But I hate the fact that I'm so wishy-washy. I do want to become more disciplined at finishing things I start. I think that is my biggest resolution for the coming year. If I do the 365 Days of Tarot, I want to finish it. If I re-start the 44 Days of Witchery, I want to finish it. If I start the 30 Days of Otherkin challenge, I want to finish it. And, really, I know that there's no real reason that I can't accomplish these things. I know it. It's just me having gotten in my own way in times past. And I know it doesn't have to be that way."

I know, overall, it's not hard to do these things on a daily basis.  It's just a matter of actually kicking myself in the ass to do so.  Perhaps if I can get myself into a more school-minded way of thinking I'll be more motivated.  Give myself deadlines and treat these goals like they're school assignments -- they have to be done, non-optional.

I'll see what I can do for entries for the 44 Days of Witchery (I'm just going to continue where I left off -- no point in basically having repeat entries if I can help it) and for the 30 Days of Otherkin.  I dunno if I'll make those entries here, though.  We'll see.

My big thing at the moment, though, is trying to find a way to do the Tarot every day.  One of my friends on Instagram has done the aforementioned 365 Tarot challenge and that's all well and good.  I'd like to do that too, but I'd like to find a way to approach it that will best have me getting acquainted with my Tarot deck.  I'd like to find a set of daily exercises I can do.  If anyone reading this has any ideas, I'd love to hear them.  :-)   In the meantime, I will try to get in a good habit of drawing a card every morning and logging the meaning from the book.  It's a start, right?

44 DoW Day 6: A Favorite God

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I grew up in a Christian home with the God that many call "the Christian God".  In many ways, I find that title offensive because of the way I've heard so many Pagans say it.  It's almost like a sneer, as though He's just as cruel as so many so-called "Christians" are.  But at the same time, I can't really say as I blame them.  It's almost like a "guilty by association" thing.  There are so many so-called "Christians" out there who tout God's unconditional love from the pulpit but then they go right back to treating people like shit the moment they leave their church building.  The way so many of them treat people is not exactly a good or even accurate representation of God and how He actually is.

And, if there are any Christians reading this, please know that I don't mean any offense.  Especially if you are like the good Christians I know: The ones who are beautiful examples of how God truly is -- unconditionally loving, accepting, and who don't hate on other people just because they're gay or of a different religion.  I absolutely adore the Christians I know who are like that.  They are the ones I consider to be true Christians

If you've not been able to guess, God is, well, my favorite God.  There are several Gods from different pantheons that I like and admire, but I still primarily worship and follow the God that I grew up with.  He has been so sorely misrepresented, it's disgusting.  He does not hate people like so-called "Christians" do.  He does not and has never called for "unbelievers" to be put to death.  There are so many things that the Bible describes about God that, quite frankly, I find to be flat-out blasphemy.   Such as how it makes God look like a rutting psycho with Multiple Personality Disorder.   For instance:  God is not going to say  "Thou shalt not kill" only to turn around and go  "Oh, but go kill these people over here because they don't believe in me."   That's such bullshit, I can't even begin to describe!

About the only person from the Bible whose word I fully trust is the Christ Himself and, when He was here, you know what he was trying to get people to understand about God?  That God is Love.   He was basically trying to set the record straight that had been so besmeared by so many "prophets" from before.  For so many centuries, God had been painted up as some wrathful, vengeful asshole who loved nothing more than striking "sinners" down.  And, when a child knows that their parent is being so wrongfully and hatefully spoken about, what is that child going to do?  He's going to try to do his best to get the truth about their parent out.   Hell, that's what I would do if I heard people saying such horrible, untrue things about one of my parents.

But I'm going to be honest:  At one point I was no different than so many other Pagans who scorn "the Christian God" along with those so-called "Christians".  I walked away from Christianity after I went to a Bible school in Texas.  The experience I had there had me flat-out disillusioned and angry at God.  In fact, I didn't speak to Him for quite a while.  I became interested in Paganism, whereupon I went to a local metaphysical shop for a class that they had advertised.  That class ended up being a joke and, quite frankly, a huge waste of my time since the majority of the time was spent with people bashing away on Christianity.  I found myself in the position of defending Christianity (true Christianity -- not the hateful dogma touted by people who are no better than the Westboro Baptist idiots) and one thing I ended up saying during that discussion was:  "It's not God's fault that there are so many Christians who are such assholes!"

Have you ever found yourself saying something that jars you so badly, it's like you've given yourself a revelation that you were badly needing?  That's how it was for me.  And that was when I realized that my anger towards God was not deserved.  It's not His fault that there are so many "Christians" who are so hateful.  He does not appreciate them acting that way, He does not support it (and He never has).  In fact, I dare say that when "Christians" act so hatefully to others and then say that He wants them to behave that way, I do not doubt that it embarrasses God.  Such things fly right into the face of the unconditional love that He wants us to learn.

These are things that I really wish people, fellow Pagans in particular, would actually get, if only so that they would stop lumping God in with the hateful people who claim to follow Him.

44 DoW Day 5: A Favorite Goddess

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I know I haven't really done well in keeping up with the 44 Days of Witchery, but at least I haven't completely flaked out.  I may not yet have been able to make a post every day, but at least I haven't given up on getting through this challenge.

On the topic of a favorite Goddess, I will say that I have a hard time choosing.  Obviously, Brighid would be my number one favvie.  She is my Matron Goddess, my beloved Mother.  In Brighid, I have felt the comfort of a mother that I haven't felt in a very long time.  It is no slight against my own mother, but she and I are not as close as we used to be, as sad as that makes me.  I had admired Brighid for several years before I'd felt the call for me to dedicate myself to Her.  I will never forget that magickal day when Brighid first showed Herself to me.

I was working at a call center at that time.  I decided to sit back and meditate during one of my breaks and I had brought my MP3 player to work with me so I could listen to one of my favorite chants, "The Earth, The Air, The Fire, The Water" by Libana.  There is a quiet mysticism about that chant that is just so powerful to me, I can hardly explain.  As I meditated while listening to that chant on repeat, I found myself wandering this beautifully lush forest.  It reminded me of pictures I'd seen of the forests of Washington state.  The trees were breathtaking and covered in moss.  The forest floor had an emerald carpet of ferns, and there was the scent of rich, loamy earth in the air as well as the dampness of impending rains.  I found myself wandering this forest, soaking up the magick that was so potent there, it made my skin buzz.

Before long, I came upon a creek and there She was.  She had long, flaming red hair that fell to Her backside and She was dressed in a simple white gown that came down to just above Her ankles.  She had the most beautiful, welcoming smile I'd ever seen and, even though She never actually said a word to me, I knew exactly who She was.  She had been on my mind for a few days with this sort of pull on my heart that resulted in it aching with longing.  She was standing in the creek when I first saw Her.  When She first smiled at me, I couldn't help myself. I went immediately to her and she pulled me into Her arms for a loving embrace.  She walked with me for a while.  She never spoke, but She didn't have to.  I knew She was showing Herself to me in order to call me to Her.  And when it was time for my meditation to end, I got the feeling from Her that she hoped to see me again soon.

I did another meditation a couple days later.  I was feeling a bit depressed (I can't even remember why) and put on that chant to meditate to again.  She appeared to me again, in that same stream I'd first met Her in.  She beckoned me to take Her hand and she led me down the stream until we reached a point where the stream became a small waterfall that fell into an isolated pool.  She silently urged me to leap into the pool, which I did.  And as I plunged into the waters, I could feel my depression slowly washing away.

Now, at the time I only knew a few things about Brighid -- that She was a triple Goddess of Healing/Midwifery, Poetry/Inspiration, and Smithcraft.  It wasn't until after I met Her in that first meditation that I began to do more digging and I found out a few things about Her that made it quite clear to me that my meeting Her had not been just my imagination.   One of the things that are sacred to her are wells and springs.  In fact, I hadn't even known at that time that she has a sacred well in Kildare, Ireland where her Sacred Flame is tended.  So, the fact that She had first appeared to me standing in a spring was particularly significant to me and even now, the memory of it still fills me with warmth.

She is the reason I have felt the call to achieve my degrees to become a Priestess.

There are other Goddesses I like and admire, such as Athena, Hecate, and especially Selene.  I am fond of the moon goddesses, and Selene is definitely one of my faves in that regard.  I have a feeling that I'm going to be working closely with her sometime in the future.

44 DoW Day 4: Picture of Nature (water element)

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Wintertime in Crested Butte, CO

I'm a lucky girl.  I was born and raised in one of the most beautiful and magical states in the United States (at least, in my honest opinion ^_^  But hey, I'm biased) and I've gotten to be back for over a year now after so many years away.  One of the things I love about my state is the magic that comes with each individual season.  As much as I loved Texas (and equally hated Oklahoma), one thing I missed about living there was getting to have all four seasons.  Texas (and Oklahoma, admittedly) had beautiful springtimes and hot summers, but the beauty of autumn and winter was pretty much nonexistant.  The leaves don't generally turn until mid- to late-November and snow is rare.

Out of all my friends, I'm the weird one:  I LOVE snow!  I love watching it fall, I love seeing it sparkle like diamonds in the sunlight.  Seriously, I absolutely LOVE winter!  I love all the seasons.  I think being Pagan has enabled me even more to see the magic in all the seasons.  I know some people have their favorite season(s) and the ones that they just flat-out don't like.  But I can't help myself.  Spring shows the magic of budding life, Summer for me is the halfway point between the blooming life of Spring versus the joy of the harvest.  Autumn shows that even death has a beauty and joy to it as the leaves turn their passionate colors of gold and red.  And then Winter, for me, is the cozy, chilly time where the world around me is quiet, introspective, and at peace.

All that being said, I think the first thing that comes to mind whenever one mentions the element of Water is lakes, rivers, and oceans.  But right now in Wintertime (at least for those of us on the Northern Hemisphere LoL), many of us find ourselves surrounded by the element of Water and perhaps it offers us lessons that we don't normally consider from Water in that particular state.

Water is so versatile. First there's the fact that it's the ultimate life-giver.  Naturally, most of us have learned that our bodies are made up of 70% of water and so is our planet.  We also know that, without water, life would never have reached the levels that it has.  It nourishes the tiniest of organisms on up to the largest.

Then there are the many forms that we see water.  From being a tangible pool of liquid such as the ocean to vaporous forms like fog and clouds, and then individual drops of rain that collect together again in bodies of water.  Then there is water in its frozen form.  Frost patterns and snowflakes are like the intricate artwork of the gods.

My point, basically, is that water teaches us to be flexible and determined.  Adaptable, even.  Given enough time, water cuts through even the hardest rock and it does so not by being necessarily the toughest thing out there.  Water can teach us to go with the flow of life rather than allowing ourselves to become stagnant, even in wintertime when the water is frozen.  That just shows us that it's ok to take rest in this darker time of the year as we wait for the return of the sun.

44 DoW Day 3 -- Witchy Tools: Athame

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Getting back on track with the 44 Days of Witchery, there's not much I can really say about athames that other Pagans don't already know.  Not that I can think of, anyway.   But here's a brief run-through anyway:

1. The athame is associated with the element of fire

2. It is associated with masculine energies.  Often times you'll see fertility rites such as the ones for Beltane where the athame is dipped into the wine chalice (which represents the feminine energies) to symbolize the union of the male and female in the Sacred Marriage.

3. Often used for casting circle.

4. Usually a double-edged dagger.  Some traditions declare the athame to have a black handle, other traditions say that whatever knife draws you will work just fine.  

Aaaaaaaaand that's all I can think of off the top of my head.

My new athame

My old athame

Regarding athames in my own life, my first athame was this little silver knife with a matching sheath.  But, due to very personal reasons, I didn't feel the connection with that particular athame so I sold it.  I wasn't able to acquire another athame for many months, but when I did, it was well worth the wait for me.  My athame isn't anything fancy; just a simple little wood-handled knife with a black leather sheath.  And I love it ^_^  Sometimes, it's the simple things that feel the best.

44 DoW Day 2: A Myth or Story From Folklore

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Morgana La Fey is a pretty iconic figure in the Pagan community as I've noticed and I'm no different in my fascination with her story.  I mean, considering the name that I go by, I should think that much would be obvious! Hahaha! I especially like to hear the tales that show her to be a priestess of the Goddess instead of the evil sorcerer that she's always portrayed as.  I think that where Morgaine is concerned, she was painted up in such a horrid light because she was a strong, empowered woman in a time when women were still generally thought of as chattel and property and society was extremely patrifocal.  And with the Christian religion in the midst of its takeover, it wasn't uncommon for anti-women sentiments to be spread that portrayed strong women as being possessed of the devil and other such nonsense.

I saw the movie "The Mists of Avalon" when I was about 17 or so and I loved it but only in recent times have I gotten to actually read the book where I discovered just how much the movie lacked in comparison.  It didn't portray Morgaine as this perfect, infallible person.  Marion Zimmer Bradley portrayed her as a very realistic character complete with her own flaws and frailties as she worked through her struggles and challenges, turning away from the Goddess and then learning to find her way back to Her and to claim her place as a Priestess of Avalon.

I also read "Lady of Avalon" for my Goddesses & Women of the Ancient World class and it, too, was an interesting book.  I still liked "The Mists of Avalon" better, but it was definitely interesting to see Ms. Bradley's vision of Avalon's history right on up to where Viviane became the Lady.

All in all, I would recommend Ms. Bradley's beautiful books to any Pagan looking for some great fiction spun from well-known folklore.

44 Days of Witchery: Day 1 -- What's Your Witchy Background?

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Well, hooray! Things have been totally cray-cray!  *sarcastic happy dance*   It's not all been bad; things have just been stressful as I try to get things squared away for the Spring semester and trying to get my job situation worked out.

Anywho.....

It's been about 10 days since I mentioned making yet another attempt at this 44 Days of Witchery challenge and now that I've actually got the time to sit down and write, I find myself dragging my feet.  I guess that part of it is because this would be the 3rd time I've had to write out this introduction and it's just SO damn tempting to just copy and paste one of my previous attempts.

And, on top of that, I'm really tired.  So the thought of trying to, yet again, cover the rather long story of how I came to be a Pagan.....It kinda makes my eyes water.

Honestly, the long and short of it is this:  I became Pagan when I was 20 years old. I'd been raised in a Christian home and had even moved to Texas to go to a Bible college of sorts.  However, it was there that I became extremely disillusioned with everything.  I watched people who'd begun their time there as people who were as kind and compassionate as anyone you can imagine and then watched them turn into the cold, unfeeling, and judgmental people that I've seen so many "Christians" be.

Having been raised in Christianity, I had been taught, of course, that Harry Potter was of the devil, witches worshiped Satan and that they do nothing but spells and curses and hexes to hurt people and other such things.  Not saying that that kind of stuff doesn't happen, but one day while perusing the book section at a Target, I happened upon a particular book.

It was called "The Dream Book: Dream Spells, Nighttime Potions and Rituals, and Other Magical Sleep Formulas".  That intrigued the hell out of me.  As I flipped through it, I saw nothing of any devil worship.  I saw nothing of curses or hexes or anything to try to hurt anyone.  Instead, there was nothing in there but things to try to help one sleep better, banish nightmares, find lost objects through dreams, etc.  That definitely opened the doors of my curiosity even further.

My first step into reading about Wicca was Silver Ravenwolf.  Now, dear reader, don't cringe and don't start in on me about the evils of Silver Ravenwolf.  I may not be one to ardently recommend her books, but I am still grateful to her, nonetheless, for the fact that as I read through those books, she answered a lot of questions that I'd had that had made me very hesitant to explore my newfound interest in Wicca.  For me, the biggest sigh of relief was knowing that I didn't have to just drop-kick everything I'd previously learned while I had been a Christian because there were still things that I held to.  I didn't have to renounce God or suddenly say that I didn't believe in Jesus anymore or anything like that.

Rather, she told me that I could simply incorporate new spiritual learnings into what I had already learned.  After that, I felt absolutely liberated and the more I learned about Wicca and Paganism, the more I felt it resonate with me and the happier and more fulfilled I felt spiritually.  A whole new world of possibilities opened up for me rather than just keeping God stuffed in a box.  I felt liberated to not just love the Father and the Christ but to also love the Mother and do so knowing that God wouldn't hold it against me  Seriously, God is not an asshole like so many "Christians" are and how they portray God to be.  And that was a pretty big lesson for me to learn because after what happened at the Bible school, I was angry at God and didn't speak to him for months.

It's kinda a long story, but the final straw for me concerning the Bible school had been in my 2nd year when I had unknowingly come down with an upper respiratory infection.  I merely thought I'd caught a cold, but I'd have it for a couple weeks, I'd get better, be fine for about a week, and then I'd get sick all over again.  At one point I was over at my ex-roommate's apartment with some of my classmates for a study group and I quietly told her that I could feel myself getting sick all over again (this was like the 3rd or 4th time I got sick) and one of my classmates (we'll just call her JB) butted her nose in to tell me in a very snotty tone,  "Well, quit calling it on yourself!"

I was flabbergasted.  There was no compassion, no care.  Just, as my mother has put it before, "faith with a 2x4".  And it was not how she had started out at that school.  She had started out this spastically joyous person who's happiness and kindness was positively infectious and I had adored her for it.  By the time I left the school, however?  Her personality had done a complete 180 and even when I'd see her at the Wal-Mart where we both worked, I'd say "Hi" to her to be nice and she would just give me this longsuffering look like "Why is this sinning plebian trying to speak to me?" and she would just keep walking without saying a word to me.

My last day at that school was the last day before Thanksgiving break and once classes were concluded, I was called into the office to speak with the new Dean and his wife.  I'd missed A LOT of classes because of being sick.  Did they care?  No.  Instead I was told that I needed to come to school anyway because "school was a place of rest" and blah blah blah.  I stared at them dumbfounded and it was all I could do to not get sarcastic and go  "No, my BED is a place of rest; especially before I have to go to work."

That was the absolute last straw for me and I left the school and, as I previously mentioned, I was angry at God because of how so many of those people had treated me and treated others.  But I eventually realized that God is not responsible for how those holier-than-thous chose to act and it CERTAINLY was not how he had EVER said we were supposed to behave.  That was another freeing lesson and I've maintained my closeness to God ever since and never have I once felt any disapproval from Him for my path.

And, really, I don't see why He would.  I have learned so much about unconditional love and about respecting other people regardless of differences of beliefs.  I don't sneer at people regardless of their spiritual path.  Truthfully, about the only time I do is when I see people being jerks to others because they don't believe the same way.  I can't abide it.

Anyway, getting back to the point:

I've been a Pagan for almost 10 years and I wouldn't change it for anything.  No, it's not like my life just suddenly made a miraculous turn where I never had any problems because of it.  Quite frankly, NOBODY has that happen be they Pagan, Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, or whatever else have you.

I still struggle with clinical depression with the occasional bad spiral, but you know what?  As I've strived to grow ever closer to God and Goddess, I have found that they don't take away my problems; they just make them easier to bear.  And I am so thankful for all they ways that they have watched over me and my family and brought us through so many hardships!

So, there you have it.  In summary, I came to Paganism because Christianity itself was just not for me.

44 Days of Witchery Challenge

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On my last couple of blogs, I always meant to get around to taking this challenge, but I never did, so here's to this third time being the charm!



1. What’s your witchy background?
2. A myth or story from folklore.
3. Witchy tools: athame.
4. Picture of nature (water element).
5. A favourite Goddess.
6. A favourite God.
7. Air element.
8. A photo of a magical place outdoors.
9. A favourite mythological animal.
10. Your sun sign.
11. Witchy tools: oils.
12. Picture of nature (air element).
13. What are some of the witchy books that influenced you?
14. A favourite pagan holiday that you celebrate.
15. Thoughts on the afterlife?
16. Favourite witchy website(s).
17. Picture of nature (fire element).
18. Have you had any paranormal experiences?
19. Fire element.
20. A picture of a tarot or oracle card, and its meaning.
21. A favourite scent.
22. Current moon phase.
23. A favourite candle.
24. Your moon sign.
25. How do your close ones feel about your witchy path? Do they know? Why or why not?
26. A witchy podcast.
27. Picture of nature (earth element).
28. A picture of a witchy I-Want-It-Now!
29. Water element.
30. Witchy tools: wand.
31. A favourite pagan/witchy movie.
32. A pagan/witchy artwork.
33. Faerie of your choice.
34. Rune of your choice.
35. Something that I think people who don’t know much about paganism/witchcraft should know.
36. Flower of your choice, and its magical properties.
37. A famous pagan/witch!
38. Witchy tools: cauldron.
39. Something that inspires you.
40. Your altar, if you have one!
41. A spell you’ve done.
42. A favourite nature spirit.
43. A magical recipe.
44. Witch’s choice!