Whoops! It's Been a While!

Tweet

So sorry it's been so long since I last wrote!

Just a few days after Holly came into our family I re-started my job at McDonald's and it's been craziness ever since.  First of all, Holly is doing awesome!  She has really come out of her shell over the past few weeks and she's gotten more confident to come out of my bedroom and be around all of us without freaking out.  She's getting along really well with the kids to where she lets them pet her and play with her.  ^_^  And, as I sit here typing this, she is snoozing quite contentedly next to me on the couch (oop! Now she's snuggled on my chest).  <3<3<3<3<3  Every day she's exhibited more and more of the personality traits from her last life while still maintaining her different individuality in this life and I could seriously burst with how happy I am to have her with me again!

For instance, like Tippy, she'll come trotting right to me when I call her name and she'll be meowing all the way.  That was one of my most favorite things about Tippy's personality when she was in that life.  I love my little kitty friend so much!

Let's see....what else?  I turned 30 a couple weeks ago (oh joy!).   I'm not as bothered by it as I thought I would be, but just wait til I start getting significantly closer to 40.  We'll see how much bitching I do about that milestone!  LoL!

Regarding my job, I can't say I'm overly thrilled about it, but I'm still thankful for it.  I'm thankful for the extra money and I still manage to enjoy it most of the time.  There's just the occasional rough patch where I'm having to deal with bitchy co-workers, which I find to be worse than rude customers.  Hell, just the other day I was working the morning shift and this one chick  was just......well, lemme put it this way: I was THIS CLOSE to asking her if she needed to change her tampon.  I'm still getting used to being back at McDonald's and trying to find my multi-tasking groove (which I've not had much of in the first place) and I was helping with Drive-Thru.  Well, apparently my multi-tasking skills aren't as good as hers which, she felt, meant that it was ok for her to treat me like an inferior plebian piece of trash.

Finally, when she decided to snappishly demand my headset and shove me off to other duties, I had it.  "There's no need to be rude!" I barked.  She and another co-worker tried to justify it because of my, apparent, ineptness to do the job to their satisfaction.  "Huh uh!" I snapped.  "I don't care! I'm trying my best and this is only my second week back on the job, so can it!"   I decided a long time ago that I won't be treated like anybody's bitch.  

That's not to say that I don't understand the frustration they were feeling, but even T knew that I was new back on the job.  I wanted to smack her the worst because SHE KNEW.

Meh.  So, it took me a little while to get past that bad mood.  Admittedly, one of the things that cheered me up a bit was watching A get her Karma.  That morning was heavy with rain and, while I was sequestered off in an out-of-the-way corner of the Drive-Thru to just take orders for one of the Drive-Thru lanes (fine by me), I watched A suddenly have to deal with a leak in the ceiling right above where she was taking orders for the other lane and dealing with some of the drink orders.  I admit, every time she wailed about getting dripped on and futilely searched for a way to shield herself from the drips, I giggled a bit.  Still, I reminded myself not to be TOO gleeful lest Karma hike a brow in my direction.  I took a few (smirking) deep breaths, turned back to my business, and ignored everything else to do with it.

But, barring all that, my job has been alright.  :-)  Barring the fact that my feet hurt so bad by the end of the day that I'm ready to bawl my head off, that is.

My Year and a Day classes were, basically, on vacation for the past two weeks and will be resuming this upcoming Monday.  ^_^  I'm very excited for that.

Overall, that's pretty much all that's been going on over the past few weeks.

Oh!  And I'm in the middle of creating a website on Weebly!  :-)   I haven't published it yet, but I've been trying to get things set up beyond the mere bare bones.  ^_^   I think I'll be able to do more of the in-depth things on there that I've been wanting to do here such as have pages from my Book of Shadows as well as bits of my writings.  ^_^   I'm working on it.  I hope to have it up soon.

Holly's First Real Day (PICS INCLUDED)

Tweet

(I started this entry yesterday, but I got side-tracked with Holly and then I ended up crashing  LoL)

May 15:  Sooooooooo, I can tell this is going to take some time.  Holly has shown that she's quite timid and shy.  In fact, she's the shyest kitten I've ever had to deal with.  When she was with me in her last life, she didn't have a bunch of rowdy kids to deal with.  Aspen was just a baby and I hadn't had Rain yet.  When Aspen was a baby, he didn't have that typical baby tendency of smacking the crap out of whatever was making him excited.  Tippy had ADORED Aspen.  In essence, they kinda got to grow up together.  She would lay by him, I would help him pet her, he would get the most ecstatic, joyful look on his face and Tippy would just lay there and purr her ever-lovin' head off.

But now things are VERY different.  Aspen's a LOT bigger and there's two more than there was before she died.  A lot of things have changed.  I know it's going to take a lot of patience and learning to back off when she's had enough.  But I'll admit, this will be a learning process for me too.  Like I said, I've never had such a shy kitten before.  Tippy was a little shy when she first came to us; she hid for a little bit, but when she grew curious enough to come out and explore, she was fine.

Now that she's Holly with a lot more to deal with, I can see that this is going to take a lot more time and patience.

That being said, it's not been all that bad.  This morning started out a little rough.  Admittedly, I wasn't being overly constructive in trying to get her out of hard-to-reach hiding places such as under or behind the entertainment center, which we've had to block off because she poo'ed back there.  At one point Druid scared the ever-loving out of her by trying to shoo her from under the entertainment center with a broom handle.  -_-  That was particularly frustrating because she was starting to gain some curiosity to explore and after that, she went back into hiding.  *sigh*

However, today has had a lot of high points, too.  Even when I'd pulled her out of her hiding spots, the moment I started petting her and snuggling her, she would snuggle back and there have been several times today she has rubbed her face against mine, which I find to be most encouraging.

However, as the day went on, it became more and more clear that having her things set up in the living room and dining room was just NOT the best idea.  So, I did some cleaning and picking up in mine and Druid's bedroom, moved her things in there, and made it to where the room could be open, but she'd be blocked in there just so she'd have a quieter, less-trafficked area to be in.  She was still a little timid at first, but it didn't take her very long to gain the confidence to explore the room, even obnoxiously so as the night wore on.  But the good thing was that she finally had the confidence to get out of her kitty condo to eat food, drink water, and use the litter box.  Plus, she's gradually getting less scared of us.

For a while, if either one of us would peek in on her hiding place, she'd hiss at us  (which is SO freaking cute, btw -- it's just this tiny little puff of air!) but wouldn't make any aggressive moves.  The only time she's made to claw at either one of us is if she was feeling playful.  I think the hiss was more of a timid, startled thing.  She'd still let us pet her and even look a bit soothed when we'd do so.

May 16:  Her first night in our room, like I said, she got a bit obnoxious.  I ended up waking up at around 5am because she got onto the sink top and was knocking things over.  But I ended up getting to play with her and OMG when she's feeling confident, she is such a snugglebug! AND a chatterbox  XD  Naturally, I couldn't help but to chatter back.  ^_^

And now, before I close this entry, here are some pics of my little friend:

A Week of Celebration

Tweet

I can't even find the words to describe all the happiness this last week has brought me.  First there was the finalizing of my divorce last Friday, which I already wrote about, then there's the fact that the Spring Semester is FINALLY over!!!!! But this next bit of ecstatic happiness is the uber reason for this post.  However, for y'all to fully understand, I'm going to need to include a bit of a back-story.


(taken from a journal entry I wrote a couple weeks ago)
Something that's been weighing on my mind a lot lately is the topic of Familiars. I used to have one. I didn't get to have her very long and, considering the way my life was going for the longest time, maybe it was a mixed blessing. At least when she died, she still belonged to me. I didn't have to suffer the grief of having to rehome her because many things 'caused me and mine to have to be homeless and living like gypsies for almost two years.

Tippy was my first-ever Mother's Day present. Honestly, she was probably the most thoughtful thing my ex ever did for me. I wasn't expecting anything for Mother's Day that year. We were dirt poor. So when my ex came in briefly on his lunch break on that day in May, 2005 with something behind his back and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hands, I thought maybe he'd gotten me one of those brownies from the nearby 7-Eleven that I liked so much. Instead, what I got was a feeling of a tiny, soft, furry body. She was a tiny little black kitten with little white paws and ankle socks on her back feet. When she was a baby, she had a little tip of white on her tail, hence her name Tippy.

Tippy was wholeheartedly MY baby. I'd never had a cat so devoted to me. She would even come running to me when I'd call her. One time she got out of the apartment and went into the pool area (which was closed off). My ex tried to get her to come to him by calling her and she just sat there staring at him like "And what?" I went outside, crouched down, and called for her and she came trotting to me as eagerly as one would expect a puppy to do. That was when I first realized the bond we had.

Tippy loved me unconditionally, even when I wasn't such a great human being. I'm ashamed to say that there was a long stretch of time where I didn't really appreciate her or treat her as I should have. There were so many things going on at that time, though I don't see any of them as being excuses for me. But she loved me anyway. And yes, I did manage to get my head out of my ass. I just wish I'd done it sooner. 

I didn't have Tippy for a full year before she was hit by a car one night while my ex and I were off visiting a friend of his. She died almost a month exactly after he and I had moved to Oklahoma City from Texas.  Tippy died March 10, 2006 just a couple weeks before my daughter was born. It's been 7 years and I still miss her terribly. I've often wondered if Tippy might someday come back to me.

Thoughts like this have especially been prevalent as of late. I follow the Pooka Pages magazine for Pagan children and back towards the end of March, Pooka -- the Familiar of Lora, the gal who runs the mag -- passed away. He died March 25. My heart absolutely broke for Lora 'cause I remember all too well the grief I went through when I lost Tippy.

Lora wrote a story about Pooka's passing for the Beltane issue of the Pooka pages and holy crap, I cried my eyes out. (You can find it on the Pooka Pages Facebook page.  I'm sorry I don't have a more direct link)

But Lora, even then, knew that her Pooka kitty would come back to her. And Pooka didn't waste any time in doing so. A few days ago, I saw a Facebook status on the Pooka Pages Team page and OMG!! She found him again! 


"Hey Team - I FOUND HIM!!!! And just wait til you here the story behind it: Pooka died on Monday evening, March 25. I lay in his cage at the vets and he walked over and lay down with me, his chin resting on my arm, his front leg draped over the arm. “You have to go away for a while, Pooks,” I told him, “but I need you to come back to me. You have to come back soon. I can’t be without you, my little heartbeat kitty.” He purred and gazed into my eyes.
His little ghost was at my side for 3 days. Then, suddenly, on the evening of the 28th, I felt him leave. The next day, March 29th, was my birthday and such a lonely, sad day it was.
But I absolutely knew he’d already found another body and that he’d be born almost immediately and very close by. But how would I find him? Neither our town nor any of the surrounding towns have animal shelters or even pet stores where I might look.
I started scanning the ads in the papers for kittens. There were none. I checked Craig’s List online. Nothing in our area. Zip. Nada. It looked like I’d just have to wait for him to wander onto my front porch some day….
Then, by chance, I noticed an animal rescue facility located in a house a few blocks down the street from me! I’d never known it was there. I called the number and explained that I was looking for a black, male kitten that was 4 weeks old.
“Oh honey,” said the lady on the phone, “we mostly get grown cats - hardly ever kittens and especially not that young. We do have an 8 month old female who’s very sweet.”
“No, I’m looking for a black male born about 4 weeks ago,” I said.
“Well, you never know,” she told me, “so let me take your number just in case.”
A few days later, she called. “You’re not going to believe this,” she said, “but we just got a litter of 5 kittens dropped off. Four tabby females and one black male. And he’s exactly 4 weeks old because they were born March 29th.”
What a clever and magical cat Pooka is … and now we even share the same birthday!"

Reading that status made my heart ache in a way that's very bittersweet. I am SO happy that Lora has Pooka back! I just looked at the Facebook page and she posted a picture of him and OMG I absolutely melted!! I'm so happy for her and Pooka! But, admittedly, I'm jealous. I still miss Tippy so much :'( I'm not jealous in a bad way, please don't misunderstand. I just wish so much that she comes back to me!

Honestly? I think she's just waiting. I think she knew at the time that things in my life would not be right for her to come back so soon. But now things have settled down A LOT and I have been DESPERATELY wanting to get a cat again.  I think that she just might be coming back to me soon and I think this time around is going to go a LOT better than it did last.

I think I might do a little ritual to ask her to come back to me.  I think she might have been waiting for me to call for her.  I think she's been waiting for me to be ready for us to be reunited.

I never got to work with Tippy as a Familiar or anything.  But I have no doubts that she was my Familiar.  I knew it through the bond that we shared and the love that she gave.  She was no ordinary cat and I have no doubts that if she does come back to me, she would be a powerful magickal partner as well as the extraordinary friend that she was the last time she was alive.


So, there you have it.

Now, I didn't end up having to do any elaborate ritual to call her back to me.  As I mentioned, I think she's been waiting for me and for things in my life to be ready and Pooka's death and reincarnation was a way that she could get the message across for me to look for her.

Well, guys, I found her!  After reading the whole story of what happened to Pooka, it felt like I'd been smacked over the head with a neon sign and I'd been on the lookout ever since.  That bit earlier was written on April 30.  It took me having to deal with some frustrations (i.e. one guy who'd posted about 3 black kittens on Craigslist blew me off the day I was supposed to go look at them.)   However, when I had my meltdowns of desperate despair, Druid was right here with me to remind me that it will work out when it's meant to and to try not to be so impatient.

It paid off today  :-)   I found her!!!!   And she is home!!  :-D, though she is called Holly in this life instead of some odd pet name.  :3   I will post pics tomorrow!

I'll write more later.   It's uber late and I am having a really hard time staying awake at my laptop.  LoL!!