Pagan Blog Project Wk 2: A is for Adapting

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I'm a Gemini/Taurus cusp.  The Gemini side says that I'm supposed to be flexible to changes in life whereas my Taurus side digs its heels in.  Probably because most of the time when things have changed, they've been changes that I haven't wanted.  I stubbornly clung onto two toxic relationships, particularly the second one, because I didn't want to give up, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.  If I could show that kind of fortitude but in a GOOD relationship, my stubbornness would be most fruitful.

However, my stubbornness, when change is inevitable, is a shot in the foot and it prevents me from learning to adapt.  And not being able to adapt is something that can even get in the way of my spirituality.  I'm struggling in my being able to adapt to my new surroundings.  For the past 2 years, I was in my home element of Colorado.  My beloved mountains of the Front Range greeted my eyes every day, lush grass in my favorite park caressed my feet when I'd take my children there to play.  The shade of my favorite tree there embraced me in its coolness even on the hottest days.  I'm a Colorado girl to the bone.  My favorite trees are the Aspen, their leaves turn such a brilliant shade of gold in the gorgeous autumn season.  I also loved the Maple tree that stood in front of my kids' old school and the vivid shades of red it would become.

But now, for the time being, I'm stuck in the desert.  There's more saguaro than there are trees. There's only one house I can think of in this whole neighborhood that even has any grass.  There are still mountains to see, but the ones close by are utterly bare save for the forests of saguaro that warn me that those mountains are not for my roaming pleasure.

Despite my efforts to see every bit of beauty in this place that I can, I'm homesick as hell.  I don't feel any connection to this land, though I'm trying.

My difficulty in adapting to my new surroundings has caused me to struggle a bit more with depression which has, in turn, caused me to struggle with keeping up with my spiritual goals, such as drawing a Tarot card every day.

I don't intend to be stuck out here in the desert forever.  But while I'm here, I think one of the lessons the Goddess wants me to learn is to be more adaptable to the changes in my life and to my surroundings.  I need to find a way to establish a connection to the land here.  Perhaps try to establish a friendship with the nature spirits like the ones I feel under the tree out front.  I love that tree.  There's a few more of its like in the back yard, but the one in front is the one I feel drawn to.  It feels like, for lack of a better term, a sentinel.  Like it's standing guard and watching over the place.


When we're so busy fighting against the things that have happened/are happening in our lives, we run the risk of missing the opportunities that these things may bring before us.  Opportunities to learn, opportunities to grow.  Opportunities to emerge as a better person, both mundanely and spiritually.  A better Witch/Pagan/Druid/whatever else, depending on what our goals are.  Change isn't always fun.  It can be scary and painful, but it can also be exciting and joyous too.  It is whatever we make it to be, we just have to be ready and willing to adapt.

Writerly Thoughts: Feeling VERY Twitchy!!

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First of all:  Yay!!  I managed to change the header picture!!!  :-D    Easy for most people, but it took me a bit to figure it out >^.^<  So yeah, I'm feeling a bit geeky happy.  I am LOVING my new layout!!  Elf-girl is happy!!

In other news.....

I've been feeling twitchy for days.  Twitchy of the writing persuasion, and I'm glad for it, but it's a twitchiness I've not been able to quench.  I have been BADLY wanting to make some writerly accomplishments, but I still feel stuck!  I don't know what to write!  Please forgive the crassness of this comparison, but it's like being constipated.  Aaaaaaaaand that's as far as I'm taking that analogy.  Y'all can figure the rest out, I'm sure.  Perhaps a better analogy might have been the pressure that builds when you've got a kink in a water hose.  I don't know  o.O

It's like my head is full of white noise and hesitation.  I don't know where to begin.  Trying to break my writing inertia is like trying to get a steam engine going.  Breaking through that barrier of inertia is the biggest problem for me (as I'm sure it is for many people).  Once I actually get going, it's not quite so difficult.  But the GETTING GOING is just.......gah!  D:  

I haven't gotten to any writing exercises yet (fairly obvious).  With the last two weeks of the Spring Semester to deal with, I wasn't overly expecting to.  But now that it's pretty much over with the exception of one more thing for my Paralegal class (as I've already mentioned), my free time is going to be a lot more free for me.  Yes, I'll have work to contend with, but when I'm home, the only duty I really need to worry about keeping up with is contributing to the upkeep of the apartment.

I'm still working on culling down my time on Facebook.  I fully admit that I've still been spending too much time on there, but I haven't really touched any of the games in at least a week whereabouts.


I have one more assignment to complete, which is due on Monday.  I really need to get to that (it's a Legal Research assignment, which I am NOT looking forward to!) but I need to have that done.  Either before I do it or after, I want to try to complete a writing exercise.  I feel like if I don't do some sort of creative writing SOON, I'm going to go to pieces.  I'm glad I feel that way, but I want to find a way to take advantage of it lest that desire go slack with me nothing to show for it.

If anyone reading this knows of any other places to suggest that have good writing exercises, I would very much appreciate the heads up!  :-D

)O( Morgaine )O(