PBP Wk 5: C is for Candlemas Happy Imbolc!!!

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I didn't want to pick a topic that would be obvious, but I just can't help it for today.  Today is Imbolc/Candlemas.  Also known as Brighid's Feast.  Most everybody already knows the basic information about Imbolc and Brighid's hand in ushering in the Spring according to Her lore.  Most know that Imbolc is the celebration of the halfway point in Winter before the Spring Equinox.  I'm not going to be writing about facts (but if there's anything you want to know, you should check out this Wikipedia article about Imbolc).

I've been feeling Brighid around a lot lately.  She has helped me a lot through this latest bout of depression that I've gone through concerning some things that I've had to realize about my family.  It's a long story and it's not something I'm going to go into here.  But Brighid has been showing Herself to me a lot lately as though She's trying to remind me that She is also my mother, She hasn't given up on me nor looked down on me for my failures. Hell, She doesn't even see them as failures; they're merely chances and opportunities to get up and try again.  To Her, mistakes are not something to beat me over the head with; they're just chances to learn and to better myself.

I was writing about these things on my desktop diary software (shameless name-dropping here: Chrysanth is awesome!) and as I was doing so, I literally felt a loving warmth and peace settle over me and I knew it was Her.  I feel Her even now.  So, to celebrate my Mother Goddess' day, I'm going to be doing a Flamekeeping shift.  It's not my scheduled day to do so, but you know what? I think when it's Imbolc, every daughter of Brighid should keep the Sacred Flame if she feels compelled to do so.  I have no doubts that Brighid keeps it alongside us today.

I'm also have been feeling the need to work with my Tarot cards again.  Unfortunately, that's something I slumped back on, but since Imbolc is considered a good day for divinations, I think it's a good day to begin again on my journey to learn my Tarot and to try to do better at doing my Daily Card readings.  I wish I could have a chance to visit a stream today, but that's probably not going to happen.  However, cleaning my water fountain and refilling it can be the next best thing. ^_^

I'm so thankful for Brighid's love.  I'm so thankful that she truly does still love me and sees the best in me even when I can't see the best in myself.  Even when others, such as people from my family, can't seem to see the best in me.

Imbolc is a celebration of the journey from the darkness of Winter to the coming light of Spring.  I'm thankful to my Mother Goddess, the Bright One, for her continuing to help me work through the darkness of things that have troubled me for many years.  One doesn't wade through that amount of muck overnight.  It takes time and effort, but I can feel myself gradually shedding these things and as I do, I feel more and more light.  Working through all these things that I've buried down isn't pleasant by any stretch, but it's necessary.

It wasn't that long ago that my mother basically scoffed at my spirituality because it hasn't seemed, in her eyes, to have made me a happier person the way Christianity is "supposed to".  SMH   And that was simply because, yeah, on my Facebook, I'm often expressing my anger and worries about a bunch of different things.  I'm sorry, but it's really sad that so many Christians think that  "Oh yes!  I've accepted Jesus into my heart, so God is just going to go and make everything better!!"   It doesn't work that way.  If it did, then there'd never even be such a thing as a Christian who experiences troubles and depression.

I had to tell my mother that, basically, that just because I still experience troubles and depression doesn't mean that I'm not happy being Pagan.  Are you kidding me?  I LOVE being Pagan!  Being Pagan has brought me far more joy than being a Christian ever did.  But, quite frankly, I've learned to be more expressive about what I feel instead of trying to stuff it down, so yes, I even express when something has pissed me off.  I've learned that my feelings (when they're not dripping sunshine and rainbows) are inconvenient to other people, but that's their problem. Not mine.

Do I still have a lot to learn about working through my emotions in a more constructive manner?  Oh, definitely!  But I have no doubts that Brighid will help me with that too.  May the Bright One give you many blessings on this, Her Feast Day!

Happy Imbolc/Candlemas and Blessed Be!

)O( Morgaine Kildare )O(

44 DoW Day 5: A Favorite Goddess

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I know I haven't really done well in keeping up with the 44 Days of Witchery, but at least I haven't completely flaked out.  I may not yet have been able to make a post every day, but at least I haven't given up on getting through this challenge.

On the topic of a favorite Goddess, I will say that I have a hard time choosing.  Obviously, Brighid would be my number one favvie.  She is my Matron Goddess, my beloved Mother.  In Brighid, I have felt the comfort of a mother that I haven't felt in a very long time.  It is no slight against my own mother, but she and I are not as close as we used to be, as sad as that makes me.  I had admired Brighid for several years before I'd felt the call for me to dedicate myself to Her.  I will never forget that magickal day when Brighid first showed Herself to me.

I was working at a call center at that time.  I decided to sit back and meditate during one of my breaks and I had brought my MP3 player to work with me so I could listen to one of my favorite chants, "The Earth, The Air, The Fire, The Water" by Libana.  There is a quiet mysticism about that chant that is just so powerful to me, I can hardly explain.  As I meditated while listening to that chant on repeat, I found myself wandering this beautifully lush forest.  It reminded me of pictures I'd seen of the forests of Washington state.  The trees were breathtaking and covered in moss.  The forest floor had an emerald carpet of ferns, and there was the scent of rich, loamy earth in the air as well as the dampness of impending rains.  I found myself wandering this forest, soaking up the magick that was so potent there, it made my skin buzz.

Before long, I came upon a creek and there She was.  She had long, flaming red hair that fell to Her backside and She was dressed in a simple white gown that came down to just above Her ankles.  She had the most beautiful, welcoming smile I'd ever seen and, even though She never actually said a word to me, I knew exactly who She was.  She had been on my mind for a few days with this sort of pull on my heart that resulted in it aching with longing.  She was standing in the creek when I first saw Her.  When She first smiled at me, I couldn't help myself. I went immediately to her and she pulled me into Her arms for a loving embrace.  She walked with me for a while.  She never spoke, but She didn't have to.  I knew She was showing Herself to me in order to call me to Her.  And when it was time for my meditation to end, I got the feeling from Her that she hoped to see me again soon.

I did another meditation a couple days later.  I was feeling a bit depressed (I can't even remember why) and put on that chant to meditate to again.  She appeared to me again, in that same stream I'd first met Her in.  She beckoned me to take Her hand and she led me down the stream until we reached a point where the stream became a small waterfall that fell into an isolated pool.  She silently urged me to leap into the pool, which I did.  And as I plunged into the waters, I could feel my depression slowly washing away.

Now, at the time I only knew a few things about Brighid -- that She was a triple Goddess of Healing/Midwifery, Poetry/Inspiration, and Smithcraft.  It wasn't until after I met Her in that first meditation that I began to do more digging and I found out a few things about Her that made it quite clear to me that my meeting Her had not been just my imagination.   One of the things that are sacred to her are wells and springs.  In fact, I hadn't even known at that time that she has a sacred well in Kildare, Ireland where her Sacred Flame is tended.  So, the fact that She had first appeared to me standing in a spring was particularly significant to me and even now, the memory of it still fills me with warmth.

She is the reason I have felt the call to achieve my degrees to become a Priestess.

There are other Goddesses I like and admire, such as Athena, Hecate, and especially Selene.  I am fond of the moon goddesses, and Selene is definitely one of my faves in that regard.  I have a feeling that I'm going to be working closely with her sometime in the future.